I know, what you’re thinking… IS THAT A BLOG POST FROM MARWA?!?!? No you haven’t gone mad, and you’re not seeing things. I feel like we’re due a little life catch up to explain the silence.Wow. The fact that we’re already almost a month into 2017 seriously makes my head spin. Please tell me I’m not the only one! #SlowDownEverything
With the start of a new semester, this past week has been one of serious reflection and realization for me…so I wanted to take a moment to share with you today’s post, as it is a slightly different one, as I’m using it to reflect on this past year with you all. And I’m going to go ahead and let you know that this is definitely one of my more personal (and lengthy) posts. We’re digging in a little deeper into what’s been swirling inside that head of mine! But my hope is that you walk away from today’s catch up knowing more about me than you did before, and that if you’re wrestling with the unknown, you’re not the only one!
Ok…Let’s back it up a little. Back to senior year of high school. Before graduation, I remember older girls advising me that the first few months out of school is a huge transition. I heard a lot of this sort of thing… “Don’t worry; it’s hard but everyone’s in the same boat trying to figure it out!”
Ok! I’d smile and nod and think to myself, “First few months out is a hard transition. Check. I can handle a little transition”
And they were right! The first year out of school was definitely a transition. But see, I was prepared! The “next step” was laid out for me and its name was “transition.” Everyone I knew would be walking through this transition too. We were “all in the same boat,” right?
It turns out what I wasn’t prepared for was the following two years, when things stopped being a transition and started to just be real life. Because when things settled out of transition into real life, I realized that for the first time, no one I knew was on the same page anymore.
Think about it this way. In school, there’s always the “next grade,” and you and everyone your age are moving on to that “next” at exactly the same time.
Nowadays, however, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Some friends have already graduated/are about to graduate university, while others are still unsure about their choice of major. Some have moved across the world to pursue dreams, and others are getting engaged, walking down the aisle and starting families. No one is in the same boat anymore.
And I didn’t realize that was something that bothered me until I began reflecting on the past year, and noticed that I spent so much of the year feeling really unsettled. Actually, I’m constantly feeling that way…
I feel like everything is up in the air right now and I don’t like it. What I want is for everything in my life to be settled, planned and sure.
No questions, no doubts, everything perfectly in its place. No more “Am I doing this life thing right?” moments and certainly no more breakdowns. I want to know the next ten steps of my life, along with corresponding dates and times and a detailed description for each pleaseandthankyou.
I’m going to be honest with you. This past year I was subconsciously a slave to the idea that with this transition, I need to have life figured out. I should have life figured out. I deserve to have life figured out.
And my guess is I’m not the only one. Maybe you’re in a place of the unknown… you don’t know what next year holds or if the city you live in now will be where you’ll want to live forever or if whoever you’re dating is “the one” or if your major/job is something you can happily commit the next few years to.
The list just seems to go on, doesn’t it?
So guess what, Marwa.
(I’m talking to myself, it’s fine.) This year is going to be great, but just like previous years, your questions might not be answered yet…and there is still going to be that big, scary thing, change. Good change and bad change. Change you can prepare for, and change that will completely surprise you. There’s no possible way to be ready for all that life has for you this year. But one thing you can do? Prepare your heart in how it reacts to the unknown, and find peace in knowing the changes and lessons that await, however good and however hard, have a beautiful purpose. To grow you.
While I’m not lucky enough to know your story personally, I’d venture to guess there are areas in your life that are big question marks. Things you’re not sure of that seem to suck you into worry and distraction. As a girl who’s right there with you, here is my reminder to both of us to breathe.
Because something tells me a time is soon coming when we will not only have a routine, we will have a pretty set picture of what our life will look like for years to come. My challenge for us today is that we resolve together to count these years of the “unknown” as a blessing. To savor these moments and this time for the freedom and flexibility they actually bring!
I have just this overwhelming thankfulness in my heart that part of my story so far has been with you. Thank you for caring and coming back to this tiny piece of the internet. I’m praying blessings over you as you begin this new year/semester, and I’m so excited for all we experience collectively!